Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
