I am in a vortex of obligation.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
