i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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