I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When are your genitals available?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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