i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
