question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
