There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
