Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
