The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize