Tell her she can't have a vagina
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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