my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
