i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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