she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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