At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
