He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
