you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
