ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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