what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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