You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
