i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
