I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How external is "for external use only"?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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