What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So vagazzling was a success
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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