I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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