Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
