I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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