Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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