the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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