i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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