He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize