your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
