she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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