He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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