Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Alive.
So much puke
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I had to cum in my sink.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
