i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
