I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I forget how to act sober
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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