just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
