i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
