Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
