You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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