What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
