New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
two words: eviction party
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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