I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
