Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
