Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
