A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
