i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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