It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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