I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
