you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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