wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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