Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
