I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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