A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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