dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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