We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
