A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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