sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
