i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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