we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
