i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
