i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
In America we eat man semen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
