He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
