I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
